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 怎样才能生个天才的孩子（转） |
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怎样才能生个天才的孩子（转） -- 中共史 - (1168 Byte) 2005-1-10 周一, 上午11:01 (228 reads) |
Imbecile
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作者：Anonymous 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org
全职教授的高速演变
摘要
本论文提出学术上的成功取决特有的转变。为探明这种转变是怎么产生，我们用了
人类克隆技术，找到了从毕业生到全职教授的质变过程。首先，被克隆毕业生经过
几轮的随机课题应变(考试)，一直弄到他们到连牙医保险都付不起的穷样才能被选
上(作为博士生)。被选上的学生还得进一部筛选，那些贪早摸黑忙到只能靠自动出
售机吃上一点零食来补充碳水化合物来维持生命者才者，才够格成为博士并以博士
后的身份向助理教授进军。要成为一个合格的助理教授，你必须要在讲座中把鲜人
为知的枯燥研究结果吹上个五十分钟。最后，助理教授要来被评定是否够格成为一
名全职教授。这就要看他们能否超量地出论文和分泌热释放Hsp70蛋白(表明他们是
受到了巨大压力)。成功者则冠为全职教授。我们正在研究是否这种基因表达方式能
加速从毕业生演变成全职教授。
DIRECT EVOLUTION OF A FULL PROFESSOR (author unknown)
Abstract:
Success in academia is hypothesized to require specific phenotypes. In
order to understand how such unusual traits arise, we used human
clones to identify the molecular events that occur during the
transition from a graduate student to professor. A pool of graduate
student clones was subjected to several rounds of random mutagenesis
followed by selection on minimal money media in the absence of dental
insurance. Students surviving this selection were further screened for
the ability to work long hours with vending machine snacks as a sole
carbon source; clones satisfying these requirements were dubbed
"post-docs". In order to identify assistant professors from amongst
the post-docs, this pool was further mutagenized, and screened for the
ability to turn esoteric results into a 50 minute seminar. Finally,
these assistant professors were evaluated for their potential to
become full professors, they were screened for overproduction and surface
display of stress proteins such as Hsp70. Assistant professors that displayed such proteins (so-called "stressed-out" mutants).These were called full professors. Studies are currently being conducted to determine if overexpression of this gene product in post-docs and grad students can speed up the grad student-full professor evolutionary process.
作者：Anonymous 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org |
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