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 给可怜的飞云提供英文识字课本，唉，造孽阿，连这么简单的会话都无法进行，竟然以为那是不可能的，只能用 |
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芦笛
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加入时间: 2004/02/14
文章: 31803
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作者：芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org
中文表达！您见过比他更笨的人么？
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今天某鬼佬同事问我：你看了布什和凯里的辩论没有？
Today a colleague asked me: Have you watched the debate between Bush and Kerry?
我说：没看，怎么拉？
No. What’s so extraordinary about it?
他说，你注意到没有？他的后背有个隆起，准是装了个接收机，耳朵里插上耳塞，随时听高参们的指导，根据人家的口授回答问题。要不就他那蠢样，还能上台辩论？
It’s just that I happened to notice that there was a bulge on his back. I gather it must be a receiver or something like that. He was manipulated by his advisers who hid behind the scenes. He was just mechanically repeating what the others dictated to him. But what else would you expect from such a moron? Without help, how could you expect him to conduct a public debate?
我说：是么？那有没人发现？
Really? Anybody found out that?
他说：谁会管这些事？反正政治家都是白痴，选谁上去都一样。操那些心干嘛？
Who cares? Anyway, politicians are all idiots. What difference would it make who is to be the president?
我说：对，政治家都是白痴。
Yes, you are right. They are all idiots like that idiotic clown Fei Yun.
他说：Absolutely！
Absolutely!
我说：要是咱们中国人哪天有你这觉悟就好了，在我们国家，有很多人认为政治家不是天才就是救星呢。
Oh, if only we Chinese could view the world as sensibly as you do. You see, in my country, loads of people firmly believe that politicians are either geniuses or great saviors.
他说：真的？你开玩笑吧？怎么会有人这么想？
Really? Great Saviors? I don’t believe this! You must be kidding! How come?
我说：非常不幸，这么想的人还很多，不是一个两个。这就是东方政治和西方政治基础的根本区别，你们认定政治家不是白痴就是骗子，所以要用民主制度来防止他们犯蠢或是作恶，而我们认定政治家是天才加救星，所以百姓只能歌颂之。
Very unfortunately, loads of people hold this kind of belief, not just a few. You see, this is the very difference between the Oriental and Western politics. Here you regard politicians either as idiots or as con-men. So you invented democracy to restrict their blunders or misdeeds, whereas we look upon them as geniuses plus great saviors. So the only thing we can do is to eulogize them loudly.
他说：不会吧，哪有歌颂政治家的人？那是独裁者逼迫出来的吧？
Is that so? How come people eulogize them? Are they forced to do so by the dictator?
我说：逼迫出来的当然也有，但许多人跑到自由的国外来还要歌颂中国政治家，你能说那些人是被迫的么？
Sure, some of them are forced to do so, but many of them are still doing it even after they have come to the free world. In this situation, how can you say they are forced to sing the eulogy?
他露出困惑的样子来，喃喃说道：那我这可真无法理解了，神秘的东方哪！
Oh, I am afraid I cannot really understand this. The East is really a mysterious world, isn’t it?
我说：西方不神秘，可也够滑稽的。把国事变成了show business，这辩论不就是show business么？那假定就是，谁的口才好，谁更能向大众present自己和推销自己，谁就有治国能力，这是一回事么？用这种表演来决定选择谁作总统，难道不是开玩笑？
Well, the West is not mysterious, but I am afraid it’s quite funny, too. Take this debate business for example. Don’t you agree this is purely a show business? The fundamental presumption here is that who is more eloquent and able to present and sell himself to the public is also more capable of running the country. Any adult can see these are totally different issues. Don’t you agree it is a big joke to select the president in this funny way?
他说：你说得很对，其实我觉得民主制度的缺点就是专门弄些白痴上去，真正的专家、有才能的人反倒上不去，因为那些人不拿这作职业。
You are right here. Actually, I always feel that the shortcoming of democracy is to select idiots. Those with really professional ability stand no chance because they do not take politics for career.
我说：幸亏你不懂中文，要是你把刚才这些话写在中文的BBS上，只怕立刻就要被人家举报到FBI去，说你是共产党间谍。
Thank God you do not speak Chinese. If you wrote these words and posted them up onto a Chinese BBS, I am sure you would be reported to the FBI as a communist spy.
他说，谁会这么做？
Who on earth would do that?
我说：那些相信民主自由，跑到海外来的中国人啊！
Well, those Chinese guys who claim they believe in democracy and freedom and came to the West in pursuit of them.
他瞪大眼睛半天说不出话来，最后喃喃道：耶稣啊，怎么民主会和informer联系在一起？那些人是不是太习惯于秘密警察统治了，所以到西方来也摆脱不了那习惯？
Jesus! What do informers have to do with democracy? I say, is it possible that those people were so used to secret police rule that they could not get rid of the old way of thinking even after they had come to the West?
我说：恐怕是吧。
Maybe, I do not really know.
他说：那这么说来，还是民主制度好，哪怕选白痴做总统也比秘密警察监视你的一举一动好。
So it seems that democracy is after all a good way of life. Living under an idiotic president is much, much better than living under the constant surveillance by the secret police.
我说：可惜，如果我们国家实行民主自由，只怕许多普通公民要变成“民主秘密警察”，所以，看来目前咱们还是歌颂天才救星好些。
Very unfortunately, if my country became a democratic one, I bet loads of common citizens would turn into “democratic secret police”. So for the time being, I would rather praise those geniuses and great saviors than have democracy in my country.
他说：我这可就再也没法懂了，耶稣阿！
Jesus, you really beat me now. I am totally confused.
作者：芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org |
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