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 Play: The professor in the class (4) |
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芦笛
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作者：芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org
Play: The professor in the class (4)
芦笛
Student Flute:
What's right? What did she get? I don't understand a word of what she said. Could you tell me what she said is right, Professor?
Professor:
Er, this is very simple.... Eh, not so simple, but rather complicated. Let me repeat what she said to us. Oh, I am afraid my memory isn't very good. Could you please be kind enough to tell us what your point is, Babidiot?
Babidiot:
My point is thesis followed by antithesis and then by synthesis and then by hypothesis then by garbage thesis and by junk thesis then by brainlessness then by idiocy then by sausages then by synthesized penis....
Flute (waving his hand):
OK, stop! That's enough! I totally agree with you. Couldn't agree more. Look, Professor, she just said you were wrong and I was right. How could you fail to understand that philosophical doctrine? It's profound, and yet it is not difficult if you think very hard.
Professor (baffled):
Really? Are you sure? I don't remember she said I was wrong. (turning to Babidiot) Did you say that, darling?
Babidiot:
Buddha says that universal movement consists of a piece of frozen fart that evolves into entity that collides and fuses with a spoon of tea that dissipates into spirit of the universe defined by Hegel that breaks down into a brown bell with remote resemblance to a pool of nice bullshit that gives birth to materials that form the molecules within the backbone of an aging snail....
Professor:
Alright! Alright! You did say I was wrong. But I am afraid that it is you, not I, who is wrong!
Flute:
Professor, can we just ignore her for a moment? Have you ever talked to a friend in a train station? Under the circumstances, you would have to ignore all the noise surrounding you, wouldn't you? I am afraid the sole purpose of her being or her existence is to create some background noise. The quotation that "I think, therefore I am" is not always true. In many cases, it is "I make background noise, therefore I am".
Professor;
OK, let's come back to our discussion. Where were we? I remember we stopped at the synthesized penis, didn't we? (very puzzled) Strange! Why did we discuss synthesized penis? I cannot remember what the original subject was. I am not a chemistry professor. Why should I teach students how to make a plastic penis?
Flute:
I believe we were talking about a priest rapist.
Professor:
Yes! You are right! (confused again) But why does a rapist need a synthesized penis? If he needs one, does he still have the ability to commit this kind of crime? A plastic penis would not feel a thing, would it? (pondering for a long while, then speaking to the whole class)
Sorry, I am totally lost. I am sorry I have suddenly lost my ability to think. So why don't we take a break? Hopefully I will have my senses back when we start another lesson. Miss Babidiot, would you please be kind enough to keep silent? I just found that you have a special gift of making people lose their intelligence most effectively and efficiently.
Babidiot:
Professor, you are wrong! Being effective and being efficient are different. In Hebrew, these two words have antithesis that goes against materialization of atoms that form the dust inside Buddha's nails....
Professor (with both hands on his ears):
The class is dismissed! See you all in 10 minutes!
(to be continued)
作者：芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org |
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