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For the attention of Plus Slave and the other gent |
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芦笛 [博客] [个人文集]
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加入时间: 2004/02/14 文章: 31803
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作者:芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org
For the attention of Plus Slave and the other gentleman
芦笛
I have had little chance to browse the web this week, mainly because Madame Lu seems to have been planted (or more precisely, rooted) at the computer, vowing to make full use of the remaining hours before the telephone line is disconnected on the 11th. It reminds me of the deafening gunshots vibrating in the whole city that went on for days until the deadline by which the two factions finally surrendered their weaponry to the so-called "Martial Law Enforcement Committee" (jun1 guan2 hui4). It seems that a Chinese person remains Chinese, wherever he/she goes.
So the only chance I can post up posters lies here, in my office. I am sorry to keep showing off my Chinglish, a behavior almost half as absurd as a lady showing off her brain rather than her body. But how could I write otherwise? In pinyin? I think not. (Please spare me of laughter and do NOT correct me if someone has not seen or heard this expression.)
Anyway, Mme Lu told me that Plus Slave wanted to retire together with me, shoulder to shoulder, to show some sort of solidarity. I must say I am duly touched, though I know he will throw himself into the arms of his new master the moment I disappear from his sight. Still, I am touched because I am not an untouchable fellow in India. But I would not mind Lao Jia's retirement at all, though this looks a bit too early for me considering his age. All I can say is that if you want to quit, fine by me. If you want to say, stay. But if you get really addicted like me, then you'll have little time for the great exercise of ass-biting, a great loss that may not be compensated by flirting with the ladies here. As they say in China, the ends of a sugar cane cannot be both sweet.
Also I heard that a gentleman wanted to discuss some issues with me and asked for my address. I am terribly sorry to disappoint him. Since I am leaving the web for good, I am afraid I won't be able to discuss anything with anybody in the BBS anymore. Besides, I am a lousy letter writer and rarely respond to others' letters. Now there are already 5-6 letters waiting for reply, and yet I have not written a single word. Uncle Zhong and Sister Luo (Sounds like a nun. Is she really a nun, Detective Mo Fei?) are both mad at me, let alone Old Wolf (I have received your letter and am going to write back tonight. I know the urgency of the matter. I will definitely reply tonight. Yes Josephine tonight. Tonight is THE night. I swear to Chairman Mao).
So I am really sorry to let you down, mister (My wife failed to tell me your name. Her memory is as short as a hare's tail). Hereby I would like to quote an ancient Chinese poem to express my regret and sorrow:
"Here I am returning the pearls to you
with tears streaming down my cheeks.
Pity that we had not met
Before I got married"
(Huan jun mingzhu shuang lei chui,
Hen bu xiangfeng wei jia shi)
Please do not misunderstand. I am not a "comrade" as they say in Hong Kong, or a gay man as they say in the West. I am just telling you that you should have come here much earlier, before my retirement. The only reason I quote this poem is to show off my brain, which is very little indeed. But what else can I show? An old man, I have no muscle to show off, either. Is an old man still a man? I hope Prof Fan Gong will hold a seminar with Mr Ye Suansuan and have some in-depth discussions on this subject of utter importance.
作者:芦笛 在 罕见奇谈 发贴, 来自 http://www.hjclub.org |
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